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Friday, July 23rd, 2004
1:15 am
ive been goin back and reading some of my old entries, and besides coming to the conclusion that i was quite immature and that i miss seeing a lot more people than i thought i did, i never made the connection that my avo was the guy that invited me and feyi to the barron park party with all those guys that one night junior year, and i didnt even notice avo cuz i was obsessed with yoshi. wierd how u can make those connections just by goin back and reading everything. and i had forgotten how long me and nick campi went on for. and that i had a lot of shit goin on with different guys, i was a hoeeeee. ;-)

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Sunday, July 18th, 2004
5:48 pm
8 more days of michigan.

its actually been going a lot faster than i thought it would, but its still been kind of boring. friday night i sat here with my brother all night while my parents and everyone were out. last night we went to sharis and went out to dinner, then i stayed up til 430 watching tv. today was fun, i went shopping with michelle, deb and my mom to find an outfit to wear to andreas wedding shower, and i got this really hot halter dress thats black with these blue stripes goin around it, asymmetrical hem ,its cute. i also bought a pleated jean skirt, and i think im actually gonna use self tanner on my legs since my legs are hopeless but the rest of my body is tan. but then we went to chilis and my aunts and mom proceded to drink about 1000000 margaritas and were kind of all over the place, so i had to drive home. i swear to god my moms family are some of the most entertaining drunk people ive ever seen :-) i spent part of yesterday talkin to lisa bout all the shit we need to get for our house next year, and its kind of overwhelming. luckily theres been hella free shit on craigslist, so we're not stressin yet. this is a really boring entry to go with my really boring vacation.


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Thursday, July 15th, 2004
8:17 pm
so getting to michigan yesterday was way less than perfect. our flight was supposed to leave at 1235 from san francisco (read: 25mins from my house), but my mom decided it would be a good idea to get there at 9:30 because we didnt have assigned seats. Airport Time=3 hours. we get there, and our flight was delayed until 130. Airport Time=4 hours. As we're waiting in line to check in and all that, the departures board changes suddenly to our flight leaving at 3 fucking 30...TOTAL AIRPORT TIME=6 HOURS. plus the 4 hour flight. it was super annoying cuz i was so close to home but couldnt leave since we had been dropped off...at least our flight was straight thru to detroit and there were no stops. but the only things planned for this trip are all the weekend after this one...family reunion for my dad next saturday and andreas bridal shower sunday. i might go on the golf thing again this year which will kill time friday, and i have to go buy a dress for the shower, but other than that theres nuthin to do. oh well, im home in 11 days. hopefully this trip wont be too bad. i just feel like im here for a really long time...

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Tuesday, June 29th, 2004
11:38 am - WARPED TOUR TICKET!!!!!
Do you or anyone you know need a Warped Tour ticket for this Saturday, July 3 in San Francisco?? I bought one but now I can't go, and I really need the money that I used to buy it. I'll sell it for $30 (they're $32 tickets, $36.60 if bought at a Ticketmaster place, and even more if you buy them online). Ill seriously bring it to you, and you get to pay a lot less thank you would if you bought it anywhere else. If anyone wants this, please please tell me, I'm desperate. Its gonna be a really awesome show and I'm really upset that I cant go-it comes out to being less than a dollar a band, and the bands are amazing this year (http://www.warpedtour2004.com). Thanks so much!

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Sunday, June 20th, 2004
9:06 pm

What Is Your Best Sexual Skill?
Flirting Skill Level - 23%
Kissing Skill Level - 98%
Cudding Skill Level - 36%
Sex Skill Level - 52%
Why They Love You You are too sexy for words.
Why They Hate You You kiss better than them.
This QuickKwiz by lady_wintermoon - Taken 17966 Times.
Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

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Friday, June 18th, 2004
4:25 pm
soo lisa and i are having a conversation about guys weve hooked up with/dated and how they all have had incredibly generic names, and then we started counting how many people weve hooked up with and its kind of bad. i mean, i started thinking about it and theres so many people i dont remember. like the guy i met at the club that i gave him my number, but he put it in his friends phone, and his friend called me when i was at a basketball game and then me and lisa went to his cousins house. i dont remember his name. and all the other club guys, and my hoeish sophomore year, and everything....its kind of bad. its part of the reason why im impressed that i did what i did this year...i dont pull relationships like that. i guess its part of the whole maturity thing...

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Thursday, June 17th, 2004
10:30 am - i dont really like writing titles.
i just turned down smokin a blunt with nick fodor on his first morning back on the offchance that i might have to pass a drug test in the near future.
what the hell is wrong with me?

anyway, the family is safely on their way to hawaii as of 7am this morning when i got up to drive them to the airport. now i have this empty house and nothing to do with myself until about 6 when all my friends are off work or ready to go out or whatever. they gave me $100, 20 of which was spent on gas and 5 on two egg mcmuffins this morning. (soo many situps to get rid of that shit...) im not gonna spend much more cuz ill prolly be eating out a couple times but im gonna try to save some of it. my mom gave me a bag of change that has 33 bucks in it, so now i am gonna go to warped tour on the third. other than that i have no idea how much money i have. i went to the temp agency thing yesterday and they said they didnt have any work as of then but they should soon. joy. at least it pays hella well. today will most likely consist of laying in the sun and attempting to finish unpacking, which probably wont happen for awhile cuz im lazy like that. whatever. i had a first real convo with jamie since we got back and it was good. i told him i hooked up with brandon and he said he couldnt hold anything against me cuz that would be extremely unfair and fucked up, and that its not gonna be awkward when we get back (which is in 74 days for me!!!!) we established that we really are ready to go back now cuz home kind of blows, but that we both needed to get away so its good. once this weekend is over everything picks up so i wont be as bored. brandons home tuesday, warped tours the 3rd, michigan 11 days later, and then its brandons bday/matts house is open, then its august which prolly entails some tahoe trip at some point. especially if matts parents buy the condo there they want-its right by the river and the lake so we can go rafting and swimming and it has a hottub. woot woot :-) buuuuut i really need to work. like bad. this temp thing is good cuz theres some time im not gonna be here and thats all find and dandy if u work for them, but its not cool some other places. i dunno. blah. i might have people over tonite but i have a doctors appt at 930 tomorrow morning, so we'll see. and i prolly wont have people over tomorrow night for michaels birthday...that can be emrichs deal. but whatever. im done with this now.

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Sunday, June 13th, 2004
11:25 pm
sooooooooo last night was a very interesting way to kick off my summer vacation. brian threw a kegger up at his house in alamo (alamo=HUGE houses) and practically everyone that i gave a shit about from school was there-lisa, marlena, daniel, elias, josh, evan, skip, jay, blake, amy, mike, mikes bro, mikes friend, cindy, katie, brandon, and hella of brians friends who are all way cool. we started out the night with kings, and ended with keg stands and waaayyyy too much weed. basically everyone was really fucked up. i remember sitting in the bathroom after smoking, and then sitting at brians kitchen table telling myself that i had to remember what was happening and that i couldnt pass out. but i guess i told brandon that i wanted to go to bed, and the next thing i kno its 645am and im in brians parents room in my underwear with brandon right next to me. and a fat headache. luckily i didnt throw up at all ever. brandon was tryin to convince me that we had sex, and even though i dont remember what did happen i kno we didnt have sex. apparently nuthin to major happened. so we laid around in bed for a few hours and it was totally adorable. i havent had a crush on someone for a looonng time, and this is really fun. anyway so we get up and go downstairs and amy is being a total bitch, yellin at katie and shit cuz she cant find her camera and her keys. she kept tryin to convince everyone that she hadnt been that loaded, but she lost all her shit and drove her car at 5am into a huge rock which fucked up her bumper. after brians me and lis went to castro valley and went and ate with brandon then went and hung out at his house for hella long. it was weird cuz his parents kno he smokes, and brett came over with some weed and we went in his backyard to hit the bong, and his dad was just wandering around the backyard fixing their motorbikes and shit. it was kind of awkward, especially cuz i know they dont approve of it and i had just met them, and here i am rippin the bong with their son. real good. but he has an 18 month old brother named jensen who is THE cutest little boy in the entire world, and im totally in love with him more than i am with brandon. but anyway. parents leav thursday for hawaii, michael turns 21 on friday, hopefully have a job interview in the next couple days...break probably wont be that torturously horrible. å

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Saturday, June 12th, 2004
12:59 am
i hate this leaving school shit. i knew the entire time i was moving out that i was leaving but i was completely numb to it. i knew that on friday at 12pm i had to be out of my room. the technical aspects of it were there but mentally i was only leaving santa cruz to come home for a day. i didnt really say goodbye to anybody. most the people im gonna see tomorrow and throughout the summer, but people like jamie that im not gonna see i didnt really say goodbye to either. i went through the motions of doing it but hasnt really hit that im really not gonna see some of these people for two and a half months; some of them never again. but whatever. its really not that long of a time when u think about it, and ill be so consumed with work and stuff that i probably wont really notice.

convo with joshie bout the jamesonian and leavin scCollapse )

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Monday, May 17th, 2004
12:27 pm
You're a Spirograph!! You're pretty tripped out,
even though you've been known to be a bit
boring at times. You manage to serve your
purpose in life while expending hardly any
effort (and are probably stoned to the gills
all the while).

What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Monday, May 3rd, 2004
9:26 am
im really not sure how long i can keep going with this. shes only been here for like 18 hours and i already cant deal with it. i surprised myself by being able to go downtown with them and everyone else, and it was okay. they didnt hold hands or kiss or do anything in front of me, and i know hes only doing that so its easier on me. so i really was alright for awhile. but now shits hitting the fan and i dont know what to do about it or how to handle it or anything. i havent eaten anything and when i try to eat it i throw up. i throw up even if i havent eaten anything. im having anxiety attacks. this is really fucking bad. i dont know why im reacting like this but i guess ure brain can make ure body do weird things. the whole situation just disgusts me and depresses me at the same time. i cant change anything, all i can do is think about them laying in his bed and kissing and doing all this stuff and it makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry or go throw up. i have to go present my midterm project today and i dont know how im gonna be able to do that. ill have to compose myself for 15 minutes but i cant even think about sitting in class for 4 hours today. at first i thought her coming might be okay; i was getting kind of sick of him. but the reason ive been sick of him is cuz we've been arguing lately, but we've been arguing because she was coming. she leaves at 730 tomorrow morning. i have to make it almost 24 more hours before maybe ill start getting better. i havent stopped crying since i woke up this morning.
almost every major thing that has happened to me this year has gone on in his room. most of them have gone on sitting in his bed. ive cried multiple times in his bed. ive gotten into fights in his bed. ive had sex in his bed. i found out my grandma died when i was sitting in his bed. i slept in his bed for three solid months, and still do from time to time. ive passed out drunk in his bed. almost every time ive gotten drunk this year and many of the times ive gotten stoned ive been in his room. the majority of my college experience has involved his room in some way. and i go in there yesterday cuz everyone was smoking and shes lyin on the bed like i always do. whenever im hanging out in his room im sitting or laying on the bed. it was just like this huge slap in the face...the place that i considered mine has been taken over by the one person i wish didnt exist. i had honestly hoped i would be able to deal with this. i didnt want her to leave and him find out that ive been a complete wreck ever since she got here. but i made my effort yesterday and realized maybe i cant handle it, so hes just gonna have to deal with whatever i have to tell him. i dont want to leave bed today.

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Thursday, April 22nd, 2004
11:13 am - 420 and yada yada yada.
So 420 was spent deliciously stoned. We smoked at midnight, woke up at 420am and smoked, smoked when we woke up, several times between then and 420, at 420, and several times throughout the night. that was by far the best sleep of my life. it was fun :-) it sucked cuz that was the day everyone had class (we smoked before writing and b't writing/comp lit) but people just didnt go or went rediculously baked. it was fun. worth the weed money? probably not cuz im broke as fuck but its fun to celebrate the...holiday? sure why not. it is. we didnt go out to porter tho cuz we were too stoned/lazy, but there were upwards of about 500 people there...

PICS OF PORTER!! (i dunno who took these...) http://newsfrog.com/420/

isnt that sweet? the cops came and just watched. not like they could do anything anyways. i love my stoner school.

so kelles coming. sunday night the 2nd til tuesday morning th 4th. this does not make me happy. i do not want the dumb bitch to come and hang out with my friends and live on my floor and sleep in the bed i slept in for three months and have sex in the room ive been having sex in since november. im really really upset but i dont think jameson knows that...he knows i dont like it and how awkward its gonna be but im truly pissed. he said he was tryin to hold off on her coming until next year if theyre still together but noooo, shes coming next weekend. stupid bitch.
i just dont want to have to see her at all. everyone else is kind of upset that shes coming cuz it puts them in a horrible position too. the last thing i want is to go in the bathroom to brush my teeth and see them coming out of the same shower. i think that would make me totally sick. and of course since shes coming hes been trying to justify me of everything...i still love you just not like i love her, i still have feelings for you, i know you'll always be around and we can always cuddle and shit, blah blah blah blah blah. well, that shit means nothing to me when shes gonna be here in my face. and i have a midterm that monday too. yech. shoot me in the face please.

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Monday, April 5th, 2004
3:10 pm
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says.
...thousands of hits. Most search engines attempt to list pages in order from best to worst, but these (computer literacy book)

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
nothing to the side....but forward my computer??

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Music videos at 330 in the morning
4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is.
3:30 pm

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
3:12 pm

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Jameson playing my bass

7. When did you last step outside?
goin to class
8. Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
my email

9. What are you wearing?
dark blue AE jeans and my old softball shirt from 5th grade

10. Did you dream last night?
uhm...I dont think so

11. When did you last laugh?
last night...after evans haircut and having a 7th grade sleepover with jameson lauren and evan til 3

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
HELLA photos of everything

13. Seen anything weird lately?
besides someones butt because they were mooning me??

15. What is the last film you saw?
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
A car.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
id rather be naked then have to wear clothes.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
ending hunger....or killing GWB.

19. Do you like to dance?
hell yes.

20. George Bush:
haha...he cant pronounce nuclear!!

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Tyler Lauren (unless I marry Jameson when im 30, he wants to name her Cashmere!)

21. b) Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Kelly sumthin or other

22. Would you ever consider living abroad?
maybe....i dunno if id like bein that far from everything tho.

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Thursday, April 1st, 2004
1:12 am
sometimes its nice when you start having doubts about something/someone and then they just justify everything for you and let you know everything is going to be okay.

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Monday, March 22nd, 2004
4:56 pm
ORANGE COUNTY TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MEXICO WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i am sooooooooooooo stoked...its gonna be insane. it totally crept up on me too...i was expectin this weekend to go hella slow but it went way fast. im excited bout meetin jamesons friends and stuff and to see grant, and the drive down should be fun wit mar and daniel except i have to drive now....blah. oh well. but....YAY!! :-D

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Wednesday, March 17th, 2004
1:07 pm
Its way too hot out. im done with finals and have nothing to do until 5am friday morning which is when i have to get up to go home. i probably wont even sleep that night. jameson has to take matt to the airport and get him there by 530, and then hes gonna crash at my house until grant gets out of class in sf so jameson can go pick him up and drive home. apparently emrichs havin a kegger friday night which should be fun. im only really home for 4 days until i leave for OC...me marlena and daniel are drivin down there on tuesday, stayin at jamesons, then meetin up wit henry and diana on wednesday and goin down to mexico. MEXICO!!!!!!!! its gonna be insane. i have a feeling based on the ppl im goin with that im gonna be drunk pretty much the entire time im there. :-D not complaining....anyway we're leavin there friday and then we're hopefully gonna meet up with ellie in SD for dinner that night so i can see her, and then crash at jamesons again and go home saturday.
part of me wants to go home and part of me doesnt...i guess just cuz winter break got kind of boring after awhile but now i wont be home for so long. whatever. ST PATRICKS DAY and i have 8 beers left :-) go me. i just sold my textbooks back for $73 bucks, which means im not broke anymore thank god. anyways...

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11:47 am
1. Who did you last get angry with?: jameson for pinching me for not wearing green.
2. What is your weapon of choice?: probably a gun...or a sniper rifle
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?: yes
4. How about of the same sex?: yup (only when me and lauren are havin boob fights, or when shes annoying me)
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?: uhmm...probably my mom.
6. What are your pet peeves?: people who bring up the past, ignorant people, when someone doesnt kno when to shut up, having no gas in my car, tactlessness, not havin any clean clothes. :-)
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?: i really really wish i could hold grudges sometimes but im totally incapable of it.
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?: floss? wear my retainer?
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?: i think like 2 or 3.
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't: brad cory...i called his house to see when he was comin home again but no one answered.
4. What is the last lame excuse you made?:
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)?: haha yeah...the one for that rolling convertible cart thing...and a toothbrush cleaner.
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?: last week
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? no alarm today cuz IM DONE WITH SCHOOL!!
1. What is your favorite overpriced yuppie beverage?: caramel macchiatos
2. Meat eater?: fo sho!!
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?: 12 shots of bacardi gold...blech.
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?: no
5. Do you have an issue with your weight?: no
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?: im not a spicy food fan, and i like salty and sweet foods...you need a balance of both. :-)
7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "LUNCH!"?: haha no....
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?: does this count justin and matt pantsing each other? if it does, then id say....5? maybe?
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?: 3
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?: haha only to make fun of them for staring at girls boobs.
4. Have you "done it"?: yea
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?: ohh this is a really hard one....im gonna have to say eyes, lips, backs, stomachs, arms...how bout all of them?? its not really a particular part, just how it all fits together.
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? i had some australian guy come up to me downtown and ask me if id be in a 'movie' with them that only gets marketed in australia...he said i would get paid based on how much i did...it was kind of weird.
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?: yes
1. How many credit cards do you own?: only a debit card.
2. What is your guilty pleasure store?: ohhh im gonna have to agree with ellie on this and say target...i could spend soooo much money there...
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?: buy a truck and help my parents redo our house like they want to, then save the rest.
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?: famous
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?: nope, id rather be entertained and live modestly
6. Have you ever stolen anything?: no
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?: according to itunes its 1716.
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of?: this is a hard question too...i really dont know.
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?: probably going to college.
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?: i dont like these kinds of questions...i have no idea. uhh...go skydiving and just be contend with my life the way it is.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?: yeah sometimes
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?: yes
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?: once in like 7th grade on a biology test.
7. What did you do today that you're proud of?: uhm...got up before 12? i dunno :-D
1. What item (or person) of your friends' would you most want to have for your own?: i want my aunt pams car!!! her dodge ram...soooo sexy
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?: amy, her room is so awesome!
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?: not anyone specific per se, but id be somethin like a pro snowboarder or sumthin like that :-)
4. Have you ever been cheated on?: yes
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?: uhh not really, im pretty happy with myself.
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?: the ability to overcome jealousy
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey?: no but its a good one
8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?: lust baby ;-)

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Sunday, March 14th, 2004
9:24 pm
You are YOSHI!! You're green, you have a long
tounge, you're cute, you're funny...what's NOT
to love about you?

What Nintendo Charater are You? (pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

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9:18 pm

What Quirk From THE OC Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Tuesday, March 9th, 2004
2:45 pm - why i love california
its definitely 80 degrees here. ive gone to the beach sunday and yesterday and im in shorts right now sweating my ass off. it doesnt get any better than it bein hot in march :-)

8 days til im done with finals, 10 days til i go home, 15 til orange county, 16 til MEXICO :-D

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